after the kiss
Some have asked us, “What’s the big deal with kissing? Why such restrictions put on young adults who are over the age of 18? They are engaged right, so it is okay huh?”
Since the beginning of Ryan and Ruthie’s courtship, Don made it perfectly clear to Ryan that he can not touch his daughter nor kiss her until after they said “I do”. Ryan gave his word and kept his promise to Don.
When it became public knowledge that Ryan and Ruthie were waiting to kiss until after they said “I do,” the question arose as to what’s the big deal with kissing. There’s nothing wrong with kissing. In fact, I love kissing and I’m all for it because it’s a form of intimacy. Intimacy is something that should be shared between a husband and wife according to scripture.
As a young teen, I did my share of kissing and I’m not proud about it. Those kisses lead me down a path of destruction because it opened up a door that led to a room in my heart where only my husband was suppose to dwell. The results from kissing left me sad and frustrated. Sad because I so wanted to be cherished. Frustrated because I wasn’t.
Was my daughter doomed to repeat the same mistakes I did? I wasn’t sure at first. They say history has a way of repeating itself. I didn’t want my daughter to make the same mistakes such as the ones I made. With all the jargon about generation curses I didn’t know what to believe. One thing I knew for sure is that the God I serve had redeemed me from a life of sin. With that redemption, the generation curses would only be passed down if I allowed it. I was not going to let that happen.
In Song of Solomon, the Shulammite woman reminds the Daughters of Jerusalem not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires, not once but three times!
I warn you, daughters of Yerushalayim, by the gazelles and deer in the wilds, not to awaken or stir up love until it wants to arise!Song of Solomon 3:5
Kissing can and does arouse the sexual senses that we all have. We are kidding ourselves if we think that our children will not be aroused when kissing that young man or woman. Once those sensual desires are awakened, what’s a young man or woman suppose to do? However they deal with it outside the marriage bed to bring satisfaction and release is sin.
As a mom, I’ve taken the lines from the Shulammite woman and remind my kids constantly not to arouse love prematurely. Many hours of dialog are spent in our home talking about purity and the rewards it brings.
I had an interesting conversation with Ruthie weeks before the wedding. I asked her if they’ve talked about the kiss that they will share at the altar on their wedding day. After she turned beet red, she said, “No we haven’t talked about the kiss. We’ve decided not to talk about anything like that.” That was music to my ears.
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My sister’s very first kiss was at the altar, and that’s where mine will be too. As you pointed out, it’s a way to save your purity for your future husband.
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beautifully written! I agree 100%!
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Thank you for sharing this. I often get strange looks and questions but I know that I want to be completely pure for my husband!
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Thank you for sharing Mrs. King,
I remember the day that I vowed only to kiss my husband and I also remember the day I broke that vow and kissed a man that was not ,nor will ever be my husband. How devastating it is to me now, knowing the importance of the kiss, but my gracious redeemer has done a beautiful and marvelous work of restoration. He is good!!! I LOVE the picture by the way!
-Shani
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Thank you for this article! :-)
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Wow! What a great article. I think this is something that a lot of girls (and young men) nowadays should read. I always had a hard time being around people in school or church who were around my age, proclaiming their abstinence and other beliefs, who engaged in this sort of behaviour. I am simply appalled, because though they say kissing is just “fun and harmless” we know that one thing can lead to another awfully fast. I plan to abstain from anything of the sort until marraige, even throughout engagement, because I want my husband to have me fully pure in love when we are married. Giving away a kiss is like giving away a little piece of your heart that is meant for your husband. I hope other people read this!
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Thank you for sharing Mrs. King! I agree 100%!
Blessings,
~Shiloh
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Ah…this was so so good! My husband and I each shared our first kiss at the altar. What a joy! And it is SO SO true that kissing is a part of marital intimacy!!! Having been married for almost 3 years now, I can tell you rather assuredly that God intends for kissing to be enjoyed as a part of the whole package, and not as a sport for single people! He’s wired us in such a way that you have to work REALLY HARD if ALL you want to do is kiss–it’s designed to lead to more. And that is a wonderful blessing in marriage. But a curse to the single girl who doesn’t want to go “all the way” but does kiss.
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