Emily, FF: Kirsten, could you tell us a bit about yourself, family, and current life?

Kirsten: I am eighteen years old (or at least, I will be on May 3rd) and am a homeschooled senior- soon to be graduate! I come from a wonderful Believing family with two loving parents, a twenty-six year old sister and sixteen year old brother. We also have a family whom we’ve “adopted” which gives me another sister, a brother-in-law, and two adorable nieces who never fail to brighten my day.
I currently attend a Co-op at my fellowship on Fridays and our graduation is only weeks away. I am so excited! Things have been pretty busy this time of the year with all of my friends graduating and most of them going off to college soon afterward. I will be taking a different approach. I intend to stay at home under the protection of my father, learning the necessary skills I’ll need to be a wife and mother one day (Lord willing!). I will also be pursuing a BA in English through CollegePlus! online while I’m at home. I have a love for writing and would love to continue pursuing that, especially during my single years where I will have more time for it.

Emily, FF: What first encouraged you to living a Scriptural lifestyle? What are some passages in the Scriptures that have encouraged you in this path?

Kirsten: Growing up in a Believing family, I’ve been a Believer for nearly as long as I can remember. For a long while, though, it was more of me riding on my parents’ faith than claiming it for my own. I didn’t start applying it to my life until I hit Jr. High and Yeshua’s been messing me up (in a good way) ever since.

I didn’t start homeschooling until Junior year. Before then, I had been moved from private school to private school, my one try at public school ending after only three months. We tried homeschool once before, during Freshman year, but we switched back to private school halfway through because my brother and I disliked it so much. Tallying those up, I’ve attended seven different schools, not counting the two Co-ops I also attended.

It’s amazing how much your perspective can change when you catch the vision behind something. I went from absolutely abhorring being homeschooled to being a huge advocate of it. I can’t wait to homeschool any children the Lord gives me one day, and hopefully helping my sister homeschool her bunch. Private schooling, even if it’s a Faith-based school, doesn’t mean you’re constantly around committed Believers all day long. It’s more often pretty similar to public school, only the students are a bit more secretive about what they’re doing wrong. You still stick out like a sore thumb when you try to live for Messiah.

After being exposed by pastors and bloggers who touted the importance of homeschooling and how it’s a Scriptural concept to teach your own children, I am committed to it. It wasn’t long after my discovery on the Scriptural nature of homeschooling that I started learning about how my femininity is something to be celebrated, not suppressed. I learned that YHVH has different roles for men and women and that’s okay, in fact, it’s a good thing. I learned the joys of living out Scriptural womanhood and a counter-cultural lifestyle.

Some Scriptures that have led me down this road are Proverbs 31, Titus 2, and 1 Peter 3, among many others. YHVH has also brought books like So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, pastors such as Dr. Voddie Baucham, and bloggers such as yourself to help clarify those messages that we’ve been taught for so long are outdated and we’re not meant to adhere to.

As God continues to move in my convictions, it can be hard. I’m one of those people who naturally avoids confrontation at all costs (and freezes up in potentially dangerous situations, as well), so living counter-culturally doesn’t come easy for me. I am criticized at times for what I believe, though I am thankful for the support system Yah has placed around me, even if they don’t always agree with me.

I take comfort, when that adversity does come, in passages like John 15:18-25; or my particular favorite, Jeremiah 17:7-8. I put my trust in my God and it doesn’t matter what the world says. My relationship with Him is the most important thing in my life and I won’t stop obeying Him just because it makes others (and sometimes myself) uncomfortable.

Emily, FF: Have you and your family always been oriented towards femininity?

Kirsten: No, not particularly. Mom has been a tomboy for as long as she can remember and still is. When my sister and I were little, she used to wonder where these children came from because I, in particular, would shriek in delight every time we passed a dress store or saw the long formal gloves that went up to your elbows.

During elementary school, I was a pretty big tomboy, but that only lasted to Jr. High. I wore the uniform skirts to school and tried to wear cute shirts with my jeans the rest of the time- that’s about as far as I went with my femininity went at the time.

It wasn’t until I started blogging, almost two years ago, that I came in contact with these new examples of femininity and what God’s roles are for women. At first, I bristled at the thought that women had different roles or that skirts were more modest than jeans, but it wasn’t long before YHVH really moved in my life and showed me that it was a beautiful thing not meant for oppression.

It’s probably been a year and a half since I started wearing skirts full time, though it feels like longer, and about a year since God turned my heart more toward my home- particularly in being a daughter at home. I’m the only person I know who wears skirts even a majority of the time, save online. And while my sister, Valerie, is in total agreement with my being a remaining home, planning to encourage her daughters in the same way; my other sister went to college five years ago and has been living on her own in Michigan since then.

My parents were both opposed to my staying at home for a long while and it wasn’t until about five months ago that they finally agreed to allowing me to do so, as long as I pursued a degree online. One of the things I really love and appreciate about my parents is that they always encourage me to follow YHVH’s leading, even when they don’t understand it. As long as they know I’m pursuing Him, they support me in my convictions. I can’t tell you what a blessing that is to me.

Emily, FF: In what ways do you help make your family work?

Kirsten: It takes alot of little things to make a house run, so helping Mom out in those things is alot of what I do to keep it that way. A big part of what I do is driving, as odd as that sounds. I probably drive more than both my parents and brother, Mitchell, combined. I drive Mitchell and I to and from church (he and I have more commitments there than our parents), I drive us to and from classes at Co-op, I pick up groceries, I pick up Mom’s prescriptions for her RSD, etc… Beyond driving, I also help in babysitting my nieces whenever my sister needs me. I help with household chores like dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning. I’m also working on furthering my skills in the kitchen; I’m relatively skilled at baking, but have very little patience for making most meals, so I tend to have to push myself in that area.

One of the most important things I’ve had to teach myself (and am still teaching myself) is to have a willing heart and spirit that’s ready to serve. It’s hard not to neglect my responsibilities just because I don’t want to work, but if I’m going to follow God’s calling for my life, I have to be willing to lay it down- even in areas like doing dishes and obeying my parents.

Emily, FF: What do you like to do in your spare time?

Kirsten: One of the hobbies you’re most often likely to find me occupied with would be either crocheting or reading.
I love to crochet- actually, I think I just love crafting in general. I love being able to make something beautiful with my own two hands and love blessing people with homemade gifts even more. Crocheting is probably the crafting trade I’m best at, though I also enjoy knitting, cross-stitching, sewing, and making bows.

One of my best friends, Kerri, and I even lead a small group for women called You Knit Me in the Womb. It’s a great time for fellowship between women of different ages who enjoy crafting, or would just like to learn. It’s a fun experience and something I hope to continue for a while.

I’ve been an avid reader since I learned how to sound out letters. Faith-based fiction and apologetics are my forte, but I like a good variety of them. I keep a log of books I’d like to read/buy, one of my friends and I only give each other books when the occasion calls for a gift, and I write it down every time I finish a book. Last year, I read exactly 29 books. This year I’m aiming for thirty-five.
Beyond these, I enjoy writing, hanging out with my family, spending time with my best friends, and most importantly- growing in my relationship and understanding of YHVH.

Emily, FF: What has helped you in being content during this time in your life?

Kirsten: I’m content where I am right now because I know this is where the Lord wants me right now. Sometimes it’s hard not to spend all our time dreaming about Prince Charming and the family I want one day, but God has taught me to recognize that He’s preparing me for that right now and if I go into battle half-trained, the result will be disastrous. Whenever I’m tempted to waste my time longing for the future, I have to remind myself that He has a purpose for me right here, right now. My calling isn’t just for the future, He wants me to utilize it now and open myself to being used by Him where I am.

Emily, FF: What has brought you and your family closer together?

Kirsten: Mitchell and I are very close in age, only seventeen months apart, and we’ve pretty much been the Dynamic Duo since he graced the world with his presence. Though we tend to argue, we love one another alot and enjoy spending time with one another. One particular memory I have from when I was around seven epitomizes what we have been taught about family that carries over into my life now.

I had kicked Mitchell and made him cry. I didn’t have any reason for kicking him, just that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Mitchell was crying and holding the wounded area while Dad comforted him. When my brother settled down, Daddy turned to me. “Kirsten, Mitchell is your brother. He’s your best friend. When you grow up, you may not have any of the same friends you have right now, but Mitchell will always be your best friend. He’s not going to leave you because he’s your brother.” While I’m sure there was more to that lecture about the evils of wounding others and probably discipline to emphasize the point, this was what stuck with me and has lasted with me this far. Family is always there, even when friends fade away. That’s very important to me. Even when we hurt each other’s feelings or when we do somethings stupid, my family is always ready to listen and make up, though it can be hard at times.

Emily, FF: And the last question, can you tell us briefly about what you believe about courtship(betrothal) vs. dating?

Kirsten: I’m a very firm believer in courtship and have been for a long while, at least four years now. Of course, it’s taken a while for me to cultivate my views on what that looks like. As many families will tell you, it tends to look just a little bit different for each couple. Not being acquainted with any courting relationships, it was hard at first to figure out what it would look like for me. Thankfully, once again, the Lord put books and other resources in my path to help me find my way in this area.

One such resource that has really encouraged me was seeing Josh and Anna Duggar in their courtship on 18 Kids and Counting. I am so thankful to them for giving a picture of what that godly relationship looks like. Many of my beliefs are similar to them when it comes to courtship, so it was a huge blessing for me.

Courtship is a relationship you enter into when a man and woman, who know each other well enough, can say that they believe the other person could very well be the one God intended them to spend the rest of their life with. The man asks the woman’s father for permission before he talks to her about it and the couple must be ready to enter into marriage in a reasonable time period, or there is really no point in pursuing it. My own convictions for when (Lord willing) I enter into a courtship relationship are that we won’t kiss until we’re at the altar and we have a chaperon if we decide to go out to dinner or something.

Courtship is such a wonderful alternative to the ‘dating scene’. Honestly, there is no point in pursuing romantic relationships until you are ready for marriage. I know I don’t want to go to my husband with only a fraction of my heart that hasn’t been given away to another man. I want to stand at the altar knowing that the man I’m about to wed is the only one who holds or has ever held my heart. What a wonderful thing to be able to say!

I’ve seen too many guys and girls who have spent their single years going from significant other to significant other, with the only reward being that they get their hearts ripped up a little more each time. Why would we want to do that to ourselves when there’s a way that’s so much better?

As a friend of mine once told me, “There are no boyfriends in the Scripture -only fathers, brothers, and husbands. And there are no girlfriends in the Scriptures – only mothers, sisters, brides, and wives.” Their point is that you treat the opposite sex as one until they become the other. That’s the only way to truly guard your own heart and the heart of your brothers-in-Messiah.

Thank you Miss Kirsten for joining us and sharing about you and your beliefs. You can visit Miss Kirsten at her blog Living Water.

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