The intent of this article was aimed to and for young ladies, who are striving to be pure and set apart, that are dealing with parents and family that do not agree.

As ladies striving to live holy and set apart lives for Yehovah, we have it hard. The world and even professing christians may not understand many of the things we do. But what happens when not even you own family members understand? What if your parents are not supportive in this area? It may be that they are unbelievers or even christians with a very different mentality. Either way, such differences can cause division and tension, even among the most peaceful families

I’ve always been different – never the type of person who goes with the flow. I guess you could label me a non-conformist, but isn’t that what we are called to be in the scriptures? As a result of choosing the path less traveled, it hasn’t been easy. Add to that parents who do not agree with some of my scriptural beliefs, and you have a very difficult burden to carry.

This past summer, Yehovah changed my life like never before. He ignited within me an unquenchable passion for living a life truly set apart for Him. I was no longer content to be like all the other teens I saw around me, whether at church or in school. I wanted my life to be free from worldly distractions. And as my eyes began to see evil for what it really is, my spiritual life took on a whole new level. I was sick and tired of the hypocrisy I saw, and also sick and tired of the “christian liberty” lifestyle being lived out to the fullest among so called believers. Somehow, I knew deep within me that there was more to this life. I knew that I was still living in sin. I was guilty of being like the world and letting its attractions take first place in my life. If I was going to call myself a believer in the one true God Yahweh, then my life was going to be a reflection of that declaration.

At first, my parents rejoiced over the change they saw within me. They told me how proud they were of me and how thankful they were that I finally “woke up.” But as I began reading my bible more and more and doing some studying of my own, I realized that there was still a lot more to get rid. Having died to self, I needed to show the world who it was that I am representing. If that meant changing my standards a bit (or maybe dramatically!), then I’d be more than willing to do so.

But coming from a very modern, “user-friendly” church, this change was not well received among my family members and the people from my congregation. Soon, the admiration and praise turned into endless lectures about how there is nothing we as believers need to do apart from accepting Yeshua, and how I really shouldn’t be taking the modesty/purity/abstaining-from-all-evil thing that far because that’s just legalism. So thus began the very rocky yet well worth it path to a holy and separate life.

I admit that there are days when I have to go into my room, shut the door, and cry my eyes out because it’s not easy. Believe me, it is NOT easy. But with Yehovah’s help, I pick myself right back up and continue walking. I am representing Yehovah as his servant, not only by my outward appearance, but by my actions. There is still a lot I need to change, but I am willing. Right now, I am working on acquiring humility and a servants heart. It is also a personal goal of mine to prevent arguments between my parents and I that always seem to explode into anger and harsh words.

Although I am certainly no expert, I feel that as a young woman living in an unsupportive family, I can offer some tips that can help you cope.

First, I suggest that you take your frustration and even your anger to Yehovah. Ask Him to take away the bitterness and give you a heart of understanding and love. Pray for peace and pray for humility. Whenever you find yourself getting into an argument with your parents, force yourself to calm down and really think about what you are saying. In my case, I know that it is easy for an argument to get out of hand. Negative arguments do not show your parents that you respect them. It’ll only lead to broken relationships.

Second, don’t store up your emotions because that will result in a hardened heart. What I mean is that if you feel like crying, then go into a private place such as your room to do so. But don’t make the mistake of dwelling on your pain. Open up the Scriptures to Psalms and meditate on them. Ask Yehovah to give you a joyful heart. Focus on what He has blessed you with. Do you have a home? Thank Him for it! Do you have clothes and food? Thank Him for that too.

My last piece of advice is to let your life be an example to all. Let your parents see the transforming power of Yehovah by your attitude and actions. If they see bitterness within you, then most likely they will not take you seriously. Be like Yeshua and they will see a difference!

Living with parents who do not support everything you do is difficult, but not impossible. There are good days and bad days. In fact, I am happy to report that today was one of those good days – no arguments, no tears. Hopefully, it stays that way for a while. All I can say, is that Yehovah will give you the strength and the humility to live among people who have a totally different mentality. I am not alone. Nope, I am not the only nut out there! If that were the case, I don’t know what I’d do. But I will remain on this narrow path no matter what.

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