Graceful Speech
by Miss Tessa
Feminine speech is something that every young lady should strive to acquire in her everyday life. I’ve noticed over the past few years of my growing up that so many people [ladies] today sound just like men in the way that they talk. No, I’m not meaning the tone of her voice, but rather the words that she uses in her day to day life. Femininity is something that has been lost today….it has left right along with masculinity.
Decades ago ladies wouldn’t have ever thought of using the language the way ladies of today use. In the “olden” days, it was rude for a gentleman to swear in the presence of the ladies – now, ladies swear and talk just as crudely as the men used to–and what’s worse is that ladies today do it in the presence of anyone! It’s not something that’s done only in private or only in certain places. Crude talk, sprinkled with vulgarity has become admissible in today’s society.
It is very sad and heartbreaking that women would take away some of their maidenly, fair, ladylike, gentle and tender femininity in the way that they speak. Why, I wonder, has this become acceptable? Let us all strive to make our speech lovely and acceptable in the sight of our Lord. Let’s leave out words that are crude and harsh sounding and replace them with words that are carefully chosen and thought over – let us be true ladies – let us show that we are women of grace….maidens of purity.
About The Author
Post topics: beauty, example, feminine, gentlemen, speech, women
Very good article! Thank you for sharing that! I have been thinking along these lines lately as well and I have been made more aware of my speech and how unladylike it is at times (over the internet especially). I have always tried not to curse and things of that sort, but at times, I can sound tomboyish, even though I am not one! That is what I have been trying to work on. =:)
Blessings!
~Miss Rachel P.~
[Reply to this Comment]
Thank you for this, Miss Tessa. Our speech as women is something that is not really thought about in terms of femininity today. It is just a sad part of the losses we have experienced in our world as feminism tells us that we are to be like men, equal with them in every way (or better).
I am happy to be the weaker vessel, the one the men open the door for and lift the heavy things – take out the trash for and change my tire. No, it isn’t that I am incapable or above it; it’s just that it’s nice when men want to do the dirty work to preserve the feminine beauty of the woman.
I pray my speech can imitate that desire also.
blessings~
[Reply to this Comment]
I agree with this and still believe it is very unlady like to talk rude or cuss at any time
I teach my girls to believe in their selves therefore their language has no need to be strong
[Reply to this Comment]
I completely agree with you!
It is sad to see so many young (and old) lady’s speaking so crudely to anyone they talk to, especially there attitudes toward others as well! But unfortunately, if there standards are not based on the Bible, and what God’s word says, they will never know what is the right, feminine way to speak and act! :(
We must pray for them!
Love in Christ,
Antoinette K.
[Reply to this Comment]
Amen! Thank you so much for sharing. :)
[Reply to this Comment]
Great post! It makes me so sad to hear anyone swear, but especially ladies. Unfortunately good manners and carefully-chosen words are unfashionable nowadays :(
[Reply to this Comment]
Wow!!! That was such a great column, Miss Tessa!!! I hadn’t thought about feminine speech in a few weeks, and that was the perfect refresher!! Thank you, because I really needed that . I agree with everything you said, and feel now able to go forward speaking always in a feminine manner.
[Reply to this Comment]
thanks for this. It’s not a topic i’ve heard discussed much and I really need to pursue this topic further. I’m also a little confused because even though neither men or women should be swearing, there is still some a difference in feminine and masculine speech
[Reply to this Comment]
Miss Tessa -
This reminded me of another admonishon that I read recently about communication. The subject is for speech between husbands and wives, but it seems to me that the principles are broad enough to apply to this topic as well.
…………………………………………………….
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Pre-Planting Godly Words and Actions
Communication has been an area my husband and I have had to work on a great deal in our relationship. In the early years of our marriage, he was not a talker in the least and I could go from one extreme to the other- silent treatment for days on end or cut him to the core of his soul with my words. We inflicted a lot of damage upon each other because we didn’t understand how powerful our words, or lack there-of, were in the health of our relationship.
Communication by definition is the act of imparting, conferring, or delivering from one to another; it is an interchange of thoughts or opinions (Webster’s Dictionary). Communication allows us to see inside the heart of a person. It enables us to better acquaint ourselves with the feelings, thoughts, and emotions of another. Communicating with another person builds relationship and connects us to each other.
Verbal communication can be a very dangerous thing if we don’t guard our words and think about what it is we are preparing to let flow from our tongues. Although small, the tongue is an extremely powerful member of our body that can defile relationships if not kept under tight rein.
“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.”
James 3:6, NKJV
It hurts me today to think back on the early years of our marriage, and know that I wounded my husband with the words I often spoke to him. They were not words meant to encourage or words meant to compliment, instead my words were malicious and full of anger. What flowed out of my mouth was a reflection of what filled my heart.
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23, NKJV
It wasn’t until I rededicated my life to the Lord and began searching and studying His Word that I realized how utterly important it was for me to speak words of kindness, encouragement, support, and love to my husband. I came to understand that all the nagging, silent treatments, name calling, and resistance against my husband through my words did nothing but push him farther away from me.
I’ve had the opportunity to do Mary Kassian’s study, “Conversation Peace” on two different occasions, once as a student and once as a teacher. Both times the Lord spoke volumes to me about the way I used my words. To this day I recall a particular exercise she shared with us based on Philippians 4:8. Kassian teaches her readers the importance of pre-planting in their minds Godly thoughts before they respond verbally or non-verbally to anyone; for me, this one exercise transformed the way I communicated with my husband.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things.”
Philippians 4:8, NKJV
PRE-PLANT
~P- Pure- Are my motives pure? Are my thoughts and/ or words holy?
~R- Right- Is this proper and appropriate? Is it in conformity with God’s standards and principles? Does it build up?
~E- Excellent- Is this of highest quality? Is it the best or just adequate?
~P- Praiseworthy- Is it commendable? Am I proud of the way I am thinking and/ or speaking? Is God proud of me?
~L- Lovely- Does it have beauty that appeals to the heart? Does it mirror the beauty and gentleness of Jesus?
~A- Admirable- Is it worthy of being respected and admired?
~N- Noble- Is it of highest moral character, superior quality, great, and magnificent? Does it demonstrate my position as a child of the King?
~T- True- Is it free of deceit? Does it agree with the Bible’s evaluation of the situation? Does it submit to the Truth?
Nowadays, when I find myself close to spewing off at the mouth with words that aren’t going to demonstrate my position as a daughter of the King, I grab my Bible, find a quiet place, and read Philippians 4:8. I ask myself the above questions and pray God would align my thoughts with His and place within my heart words and actions that will honor and glorify Him. I’ve found the communication to be much more pleasant, encouraging, and beneficial between myself and my husband when I am in tune with the heart of God.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Proverbs 31:26, NKJV
Visit Jenifer at her personal site By His Grace Ministry.
http://www.titus2atthewell.com.....tions.html
……………………………………………………….
Hope this encourages some practical ways to be more graceful of speech.
grateful for the Potter’s hands,
HveHope
[Reply to this Comment]
What an excellent post, Miss Tessa! Thank you for taking the time to write it.
Blessings,
Mrs. Molly
[Reply to this Comment]